Why is everyone so attracted to bad boys and girls? And how can I be bad while maintaining general wholesomeness?
I decided this would be best to answer during the holidays because of the naughty and nice tie in. And if you type naughty enough your SEO goes off the chart – naughty naughty naughty naughty...
The answer (based on nothing but wit):
It’s not bad behavior that attracts us. It’s the unattainable, the person or the behavior we would like to be, mimic, have - but cannot.
She drives a motorcycle. He never calls. She has a bit of a substance issue. He’s a poet. She just doesn’t care.
All of the above represent the emotionally unavailable. I’m picking on poets and adrenaline junkies, but you get the idea.
It’s not the bad as much as the taboo or unapproachable behavior.
It’s difficult to describe the psychology since I have no training in the field, but for a more in depth explanation and an awesome read check out:
Robert Greene’s “The Art of Seduction”
So the answer to “How can one be bad while maintaining a general wholesomeness?” is simple.
Do what you want to do. Know what you like to do. If you’re satisfied with you’re life as is you’re not searching for others to fill it, which makes you appear, you guessed it, unattainable. All kinds of badness. Naughtiness. Naughty naughty.
Live dangerously if you want, but make sure your reckless behavior doesn’t hurt others (alcoholics and drug addicts I’m looking at you). Have some hobbies – It doesn’t hurt to like some things that seem risky – deep sea diving, sushi making, poetry slams, etc.
As far as wholesomeness… I’ve been described as wholesome. I’ve also been described as bad because of the writer/actor thing so here’s my two cents:
I live by the creed “Do no harm,” but I also firmly believe that it’s a moral imperative to help those that you’re bigger, stronger, faster, and smarter than. This doesn’t give me a lot of people/things to help, but I do what I can.
I like to believe, TheGoodMuse helps counter the artistic stigma at times. It will also excuse my future purchase of a motorcycle and the occasional pair of “non-leather” leather pants.
Be good. Have fun.
Next Time TheGoodMuse Explains how to sell a 12 year old car that is on fire for well over Kelley Blue Book.